Number 72

A hot-headed, trigger-happy, patriotic ex air force soldier who is usually looking for women, booze and opportunities to shoot his gun.

Summary:

 * Name: Jack Desmond


 * Nicknames: Jackcoaster (himself and, allegedly, the ladies)


 * Age: 27 (or 28?)


 * Family: -


 * Pets: A well-trained dog called Sammy

Personality:
A womanizer with a huge ego. Cocky, arrogant and unable to string two sentences together without cursing. He loves explosions, uncomplicated sex and getting his way, and he doesn't like whiny pansies, clingy people and having to deal with crying women. Emotionally unintelligent and not minding one bit.


 * Goals/motivations: Getting the things he likes and avoiding the things the doesn't like. Duh.

Pre-Meme Background:
Only tidbits are known, such as him having been his mother's "golden boy" and not liking knifes ever since he got injured in a knife fight - he's all about the firearms.

BASICS:

 * Character's Name: Jack Desmond


 * Character's Nicknames: #72, "asshole", disgusting nicknames Violet tries to make happen (FETCH WON'T HAPPEN)


 * Sex and/or Gender: testosterone-poisoned


 * Righty or Lefty: the right hand is the one he uses to jerk off


 * Age: 28...?


 * Height: 5'11"


 * Weight: 160 lbs. of PURE MUSCLE and beer gut


 * Eye Color: green


 * Hair Color: black


 * Distinguishing marks: scar from a knife fight, uhhhhhhhhhhh


 * Describe physical traits in one passage: THE MOST HANDSOME FUCKER EVER. Basically looks like an Air Force punk, acts like one, and never seems to wear actual civilian clothing

SCHOOL/WORK/HOME:

 * Education (Highest): high school


 * Degrees: fuck college, the Air Force is better


 * Vocation/Occupation: oh shit


 * Employment History: bartender, pizza delivery boy, AIR FORCE


 * Salary: fuck


 * Status and Money: what are these questions


 * Own or Rent: bought his house from previous owner with 2 grand, a case of beer, and a few hookers


 * Living Space (describe): sloppy bachelor's pad with pizza boxes everywhere; it smells like dog, beer, and grease


 * Work Space (describe): HA HA HA HA HA fuck off


 * Main Mode of Transportation: big-ass red Dodge truck

PSYCHOLOGY:

 * Fears: whiskey dick, Commies, Dad when he's pissed


 * Secrets: once upon a time, he actually liked Nickleback


 * IQ: ~110 normally, less than 90 around hot women/Apprentice


 * Eating Habits: greasy Southern food and grits and beer and pizza and beer


 * Food Preferences: DEEP-FRIED AND COUNTRY


 * Sleeping Habits: sleeps on his back and occasionally talks in his sleep; often found passed out on the couch with porn on TV


 * Book Preferences: who the fuck reads


 * Music Preferences: HAAAAAARD ROCK HALLELUJAAAAAAAAAH


 * Groups or Alone: alone mostly


 * Leader or Follower: leader... not necessarily the best leader, but


 * Planned Out or Spontaneous: as planned out as a 5 year old


 * Journal Entries (Do they keep one?): who the fuck writes in a journal any more


 * Hobbies, Recreation: shooting things, porn, playing with Sammy, picking up chicks, sex


 * How Do They Relax: shoot things; get drunk; get fucked; lather, rinse, repeat as needed


 * What Excites Them: boobs


 * Pet Peeves: sissies, controlling women, no beer in the fridge, guys who pick on women


 * Attitudes: all of them? what is this question


 * Stressors: WHY IS ALL THE BEER GONE; women in danger; Dad


 * Obsessions: boobs, guns, beer


 * Addictions: boobs, guns, beer


 * Ambitions: boobs, guns, beer


 * As Seen by Others: misogynistic, self-mythologizing, annoying asshole redneck


 * As Seen by Self: the best person ever

ASTROLOGY/PHYSIOLOGY:

 * Birth Date: April something, 1984(?)


 * Time of Birth (Morning, Afternoon, Evening): I don't know


 * Western Astrological Sign: Aries


 * Traits Associated with Western Sign: hotheaded, brash, arrogant, self-centered, noble, ambitious


 * Chinese Zodiac Sign: uh shit


 * Traits Associated with Chinese Zodiac: uh shit


 * Handwriting: sloppy, very hard to read


 * Sexual History: a lot


 * General Health: good enough?


 * Medical History: nope


 * Allergies: only pussies have allergies


 * Chronic Illnesses: nope


 * Handicaps: nnnnnnope

OBJECTS KEPT IN:

 * Purse/bag: fuck purses, purses are for girls


 * Wallet: condoms, money, ID, phone numbers


 * Fridge: beer, pizza, baked beans, beer


 * Medicine Cabinet: condoms


 * Glove Compartment: condoms, tire gauge, cigarettes


 * Junk Drawer: condoms, uh other stuff


 * Bedroom Hiding Place: he hides the hookers in the closet


 * Kitchen Cabinets: food...?


 * Closets: clothes, old Air Force formal uniform (blech), guns, sometimes hookers


 * Backpack: losers have backpacks


 * Locker: losers have lockers


 * Desk: losers have desks


 * Clothes pockets (Jackets, pants, etc.): condoms, phone numbers, matches, cigarettes

OTHER:

 * Halloween Costumes: yeah right


 * Tricks: can make a woman drop panties in 30 seconds without hands (reportedly)


 * Talents: see above; shooting (good aim); can chug beer like a fucking pro


 * Politics: kinda Republican? hates hippies


 * Flaws: inconsiderate jackass; too sex-driven; sexist as hell


 * Strengths: damn good fuck(?); protective of women; sucks at lying effectively


 * Drugs/Alcohol: yes alcohol, no drugs


 * Passwords: something AIR FORCE


 * Email Address, Home Page, blogs, etc.: something AIR FORCE


 * Prized Possessions: first rifle Mommy ever gave him as a kid


 * Time and Place (Era, Genre, etc.): ancient Egypt


 * Special Places: HOME WITH MOMMY, GRANDMA'S HOUSE, Violet's cockpit (if you know what I mean), anywhere there are naked boobs


 * Special Memories: MOMMY I LOVE YOU

Interactions:

 * Apprentice: He first met her when Badtouch distributed raunchy photographs of her (which he promptly sacked). A period of bickering, arguing and blackmail over said pictures followed and eventually ended in sex (all while he was still a ghost, having died in the murder mystery). After he had been revived they became friends with benefits and, much later, thanks to Badtouch's intervention, an actual couple. The relationship is definded by grave differences in priorities, interesting kinks and a lot of drama.


 * Badtouch: The two hit off well from the start and slept together a few times. They are still friends.


 * Big Brother: Since #72 got trapped in the circus with Apprentice and had to battle demons he understandably doesn't like Big Brother very much. Just ask Big Brother's desk about it.
 * Lev: Despite his suspicion of Russians he and Lev got along well enough when they met, bonding over their interest in weapons.
 * Partridge: They immediately disliked each other and this was only intensified after Partridge fed #72's body to his pear tree. Almost every single meeting since was full of taunts, insults, snarkery or actual fighting. When Partridge almost killed Apprentice #72 avenged her with a righteous fury that could have been taken right out of an American hero comic book.
 * Uniform: Too young to screw; nothing of interest here.

Etc:
He loves double negations.

Threads:
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha god